deeples

October 1, 2008

How do I kiss his forehead from here?

Filed under: Family,Love — Tags: , , , — denise @ 8:09 pm

If you’ve been around a while you know that The Teen decided over the summer to try living with his dad this year for 11th grade. He wanted to play football in Iowa. He wanted a fresh start.  He wanted to reinvent himself. And I…….I let him……go.  What else could I do?

I raised him for 16 1/2 years and his Dad has had him for 4 months.

And he’s lying in a hospital bed in Iowa, being prepped for emergency surgery because his appendix ruptured some time today.  He’s been to the doctor, the ER and two separate hospitals….

and me?  Well, I’m HERE.  I’m 227 miles away.

They don’t know how long the surgery will last, it will depend on how much infection has spread, I guess.

His father will be with him tonight and tomorrow and then I’ll be there….

Kissing his forehead and asking myself for the millionth time how I’ve managed to have two kids in two different states?

If you are a wisher, a thinker of good thoughts, asker of gifts, hoper of hopes….  would you throw one up to the stars for my son tonight?

That he doesn’t hurt, that he heals… that he can feel my love from 227 miles away…..

June 17, 2008

#17 of 30 – the unabridged version

Filed under: 30/100/30,Deranged Denise — Tags: , , , , , , , , — denise @ 8:26 pm

Still in hospital.. hopefully getting out tomorrow…

Surgery went very well except that they did have to open me up.  Once they got the camera in, they could tell there was too much scar tissue to safely perfom the repair that way.  So I have an incision on the right side about 4 inches long and one on my left about 2 inches long.

My anesthesiologist was funny and caring and lovely… the nurses have all been wonderful (with the possible exception of P____, who has painfully flushed my IV without warning me first, threatened to throw Kory’s muffin away because she “doesn’t like food sitting around” – which would be fine if we were like, hanging around HER LIVINGROOM, but we essentially live in this room right now and there is no place else to put the goddamned muffin!  She also keeps forgetting about me when I ask her for something and she calls me “honey” in a “oh, it’s a poor retarded girl” way and not an endearing way. So, she’s at the bottom of the list of nice nurses….

I’ve forced myself to go against the very grain of my nature and just do what I’m told.  I’ve been walking laps around the nurses station, drinking tons of liquids, using my breathing machine, etc, etc.

Kory’s been sleeping in a chair so he can stay by me when I need him.  The meds make me itch (WHY DO ALL MEDS MAKE ME ITCH??)  and Kory has been so sweet when I wake him at 3am and ask him to scrach my back and my feet.

My roommate is an old lady who has had a heartattack AND had most of her colon removed… I know this because she’s a bit of a talker.  She’s full of complaints and thinks the nurses aren’t taking care of her. She doesn’t understand that she can bump her own pain meds and freaks out everytime an IV alarm or monitor alarm goes off (which is about every 5 minutes) … and she burps constantly like an old sheep.

Baaaaaaaaah.

Baaaaah.

BAAAAAAAAAAH.

Swear to god. JUST LIKE THAT.

Oddly, instead of wanting to stab her with my bendy straw and tell her to please SHUT IT because I’m dealing with my own pain, etc… I just feel sorry for her and Kory and I help her as much as we can by calling the nurse for her, listening when she talks, etc…  she’s had no visitors and I’ve had many.

Even now, waiting for the Percocet to kick in so I can sleep, I know how lucky I am.  The presents from my team, the “smile in a box” that I got in the mail from Dani… my mom flying here from Tucson to help take care of me and The Baby, Kory’s parents taking The Baby so both my mom and my husband can be with me…the phone calls and emails from my friends, coworkers and boss… the 3 bouquets of flowers that ALL had gerbera daisies in them… CaraLin and her daughter, Peanut, who drove all the way here to see me…  I’m lucky.

I’m luck

May 3, 2008

I am Iron Woman.

Filed under: Deranged Denise — Tags: , , , , , , — denise @ 10:07 pm

Kory brought his camera this time… so, here’s the experience once and for all…

It’s been pouring on the way to the hospital the last 2 Fridays…

Final Destination:

I’m really excited!

The nurses at the Cancer Care Center are the sweetest, kindest, most patient and wonderful people.  Like The Amish, however, they prefer to not be photographed.

I have scored a private room the last two times – they bring me a warm blanket and wrap my arm in one, too.  It’s like a spa, really.  With less massage… and pedicures… and champagne…  and more drugs.

I am still coherent and  feeling ok.  The nurse called me back with a, “Come on, Birthday Girl!”

Kory is showing me all the goodies he’s brought for this outing… salsa and chips, crackers, dark chocolate truffles and Season 3 of The Office…  and the nurse brings me the first round of oral meds that begin the Woozy begin…  she puts my IV in and pushes the steroid that is hopefully going to lessen the hives this time around.  It stings pretty badly so she pushes it slowly and moves it higher up the line and it gets much.  Now we wait for the pharmacy to mix the iron and I fade in and out…

It’s big.  It’s black.  It’s Venofer.

It looks like rootbeer going through the line.  Gross me out the door.

“We” are “watching” The Office while we drip, drip, drip our way to happy red blood cells….

I’m totally out of it.

And then a few hours later — all done.  This one was rougher.  It hurt more.  I have to use heat packs regularly and got some cramps — but if the after effects are lighter, it’s worth it.  Super groggy and just looking forward to going home and going to sleep…

When I got home, I opened some great presents from The Teen (The movie “Juno”) and The Baby (“The Golden Compass and a new coffee travel cup) and Kory (candles and hurricanes/sconces that I loved)… and crawled into bed.

Just to round out the them of the weekend, today we saw:

iron man

My next move: Join the Avengers!

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