deeples

Friday. We’ll leave it at that.

March6

ACT I

Setting:  Kitchen, our house, 7:15am.

[Enter Wife, who busies herself with making coffee and opening the donut holes she purchased at Target the night before.  Husband is leaning against counter. Eating what appears to be a cookie.]

Scene 1

Wife: You want coffee?  [her back to him, while she shuffles things on the counter around to reach the coffeemaker]

Husband: Yeah. I need to get an early start today.

Wife: [whirls around, fists in the air]  OH YEAH?!!!  (challenging)

Husband: [leaps into fighting stance]   Are you challenging me to a Dance Off?!

Wife: Prepare to meet your doom, sucka.

Husband weaves around in a circle in a half limbo stance.  Wife, encumbered by large pregnant belly, busts out a complicated plethora of arm dance moves that embraces both the beauty of “The Vogue” and the historical preclivities of Cleopatra.  Both are intensely staring threateningly at one another.

Husband: [knowing he is bested]  I’d say that’s a tie.

Wife: We both know I just wiped the floor with you with my bad-ass sweet moves.

Husband: It was almost a tie…

Wife: You got served.

Scene 2

Wife hands Husband cup of coffee. Gestures toward open container of powdered donut holes.

Wife: Hole?

Husband: [opens mouth]

Wife puts donut hole in Husband’s mouth. Husband unwisely decides to pull entire hole into his mouth, instead of just taking a bite.

Husband: MMPPPH!

Wife: [smirking]  Got a little situation now, do we?

Husband:  MMMMPH! RRRRRLGGG!  [looking wildly around the kitchen]

Wife: Dude. What are you looking for?

Husband: MMHARG RLLLLLALGA!!!

Wife: That little glob of dough has turned to spackle, eh?

Husband: EEEEEERRRRRRRBB.  [reaches in fridge for a Diet Mountain Dew, pops it open and slams it]

Husband: Jesus Christ.  That was terrible.

Wife: It certainly didn’t look recommended.

[Wife pauses, then turns around, powered donut hole in hand]

Wife: Hole?

ACT II

Setting: At work, in cubicle. Talking over the wall to coworker.

Wife: What is that noise?

Coworker: What noise?

Wife: [pauses]  There! That noise.

Coworker: I don’t hear it.

[they both pause to listen]

Wife: Never mind. My nose is whistling. It’s my right nostril.


posted under Blogging | 4 Comments »

Ready to remember how much you love them?

November10

Check out Ms. Picket’s post and video.

I played that video and then felt like I barfed my heart out onto my keyboard.

But in a really, really sweet way.

Enjoy.

posted under Blogging, Love | 2 Comments »

I laughed so hard I almost vomited.

September12

If action figures, WWE and yoga ALREADY make you laugh… you must, must, must read yogabeans.

The archives are hilarious, as well.   I especially liked this one.

Don’t read on a full stomach.  Laugh-barfing possible.

posted under Blogging | No Comments »
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