She, who sits on my shoulder…
I have decided that there is Good Me and Bad Me and we all reside together in an epic battle that is the Bad Me that is actually still good and the Good Me that is actually also good. In other words, I’ve decided that at my core… my seeds and guts and and stuff… I’m not a bad person. I’m a good person, a good thing that has a dark side, sometimes. For example, a unicorn is a good thing BASICALLY. But, did you know there are both good and bad unicorns? SHUT UP! YOU SO DID NOT!!!! But now, you do.
We went to the horse races today and it was the first time I’d been to Canterbury for something that wasn’t either poker or Lilith Fair. (Shut up.) It was my Grandmother, my mother, Kory, The Baby, Steph and her son… and you know, I had a little tear in my throat at the thought that here we were… 4 generations of strong, beautiful, independent woman… at the track.
The thing that makes me suck at betting on horses is what makes me suck at roulette. I want to bet on EVERYTHING. Every horse. Every combination. Whatever will make me win. In roulette if I am at a $5 minimum table, I put my $5 out there and then I have to literally sit on my hands or I just keep covering numbers with chips… every unchipped number screams at me, “MEEEEEE! I’M GOING TO WIN, STUPID!!!!!!!!!” and I end up winning… but losing because I have more on the table than I’ve won. Same thing with horses.
Normally, she won’t keep anything on her head or face. I put her in the ABSOLUTE CUTEST PIGGY TAILS THAT ARE SO ADORABLE YOU ALMOST WANT TO PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE FACE YOU ARE SO OVERWHELMED BY THE CUTENESS OF IT ALL… and she pulled them out in the car. Again. This makes 3 times this week. The sunglasses are a new interest that she finds amusing. Pull them off Mommy’s face and cram them on her own, completely disregarding things like HER OWN EYE SOCKETS and EARDRUMS. She smashes them on her face with no care for what orifice the arms may penetrate…. Today, however, the sun actually was bothering her and she was leaving my glasses on her face for astonishing periods of time. They are so large on her she looks like a little Jewish woman on the beach in Long Island.
“MURRAY! BRING ME ANOTHER MAI TAI!”