deeples

Hell of a way to buy milk.

September3

I just had a dream that I was trying to buy milk at the grocery store, but the cashier had to pay a bill while we were in line and still owed her cash register $60.  So, she busted out this huge pan of lasagna and decided to sell it, by the slice, the the people in line and essentially refused to ring anyone up until her register was correct.

After a brief, but spirited, argument with a pregnant woman over the price of each slice, (I said 7 dollars, she said 25 dollars because… hello… she was nuts.  And pregnant.), we agree on 8 bucks a slice.  The register is now a long bar with stools because… why not?

An older man comes over and wants to buy the WHOLE PAN and we were all BACK OFF, BUDDY – THIS IS OUR STRANGE CASHIER OVER-PRICED LASAGNA… but then the pregnant woman’s husband wanted to buy the whole pan, too.  So the crowd got all whipped up and frantic.  I decide to step up and start organizing this mess. So, as one would naturally do, a woman brings me a long pan of white rice and some markers so I can keep track of people’s orders.  You know, because it’s really convenient to write on white rice.

The cashier decides to have people run a short sprint through the store to determine the order people get to order their lasagna slices in.  I am keeping track drawing frantic lines and circles in the white rice that immmediately crumbles over and leaves no trace of anything.  She says I get to buy a slice for my efforts at recording the proceedings….

They run through the store and the old guy comes in first, ordering 4 slices.  The pregnant woman’s husband comes in next and orders 4 as well.  The pregnant woman comes in next and orders 2 slices… and finally, with only 1 slice left, Greg Kinnear rounds the corner and wins the right to the last slice.

Naturally.


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