August 3, 2009

#4 of 50 – We all handle it differently.

Filed under: 50/100/50 — Tags: , , — denise @ 7:22 pm

Situation: The Toddler poops in her diaper, instead of on the potty.  Then lies about it vehemently.

Reaction #1 – Kory:  Ohhhhh, honey.  Why didn’t you sit on the potty if sitting on the potty would give you beans? (Beans=M&Ms).  It’s only logical that if you want beans, you have sit on the potty.  Also, it doesn’t make sense to lie about it when we can all smell it. Do you understand Daddy?  Let’s make a chart.

Reaction #2 – Kory’s parents :  It’s fine! It’s fine!  It’s not poop, it’s rainbow droppings! It’s angel mud! It’s fine and perfect that she pooped and she wasn’t lying so much as just telling a funny story about the angel mud in her diaper! PRECIOUS!

Reaction #3 – The Teen –  Someone take her from me. Now.

Reaction #4 – My mother –  Well, that is just about the most disappointing thing I’ve ever seen. All of my children were potty trained by the time they were 7 months old.  Grandma could not be more disappointed in this terrible development than if you’ve held old people at gunpoint and stolen their social security checks.

Reaction #5 – Me. – If you say there is no poop, then I’m willing to believe that because I’ve frankly changed well over my limit of diapers today.  Let me know when you want to acknowledge the non-poop in your diaper. Meanwhile, stand up-wind from me.  The poop smell is interfering with the spit up smell on my shoulder.

July 22, 2009

100 words, I can handle…

Filed under: 50/100/50 — Tags: , , — denise @ 7:18 pm

I’ve been thinking lately about how much I miss blogging writing and tried to think of ways I could find the time and brain capacity to start it up again and then I remembered that if I’m able to update my Facebook status 3 times a day and throw in a Tweet here and there on Twitter then I can SURELY at least stick my pinkie toe back into the somewhat murky waters of weaving my thoughts into the internets again in little bloglets.

Probably my ability to type one single run-on sentence to begin this endeavor only strengthens my position that I should EASE BACK INTO THIS SLOWLY, DUDES.

So, I pondered.

And then I went to blue girl’s blog…and damned if she wasn’t smack dab in the middle of a 50/100/50 challenge in which she is writing 50 posts in 50 days of 100 words.

And I was all…. maybe… maybe THIS I could do.

So, come along with me on this journey if you’re feeling adventurous.  I make no promises.  I haven’t slept more than 90 minutes consecutively in more than 2 months.  I have a tendency for over-reaction and lunacy and bad limericks (and that was BEFORE I had the baby).  I talk about poop and boobs and my kids and my life and I don’t really give a shit if I should be filtering at least SOMEWHAT between my brain and my fingertips… because WHO HAS TIME? Not me.  That’s who.  I have all this poop and boobs and whatnot to deal with.

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