Things we did at the Farmer’s Market in Minneapolis on Saturday:
1. Bought sheeps’ milk sharp cheese and bleu cheese which is called gorgonzola or roquefort, one of the two…but regardless is delicious and all that mattered to Mr. Ponytail Man and his Very Hippie Looking Long-Haired Little Boy is that I wasn’t already on their email list in which I would have been falsely informed that this was the LAST WEEK I COULD GET THE BLEU WHICH WAS WRONG OH SO VERY WRONG BECAUSE IT’S PRACTICALLY CERTAIN THAT THEY WILL HAVE IT ONE…MORE…. WEEK….. Mr. Ponytail Man greeted almost every person by name which told me that I was a) not cool or b) not Farmer’s Market Hip or c) not Sheepish (WUT? WUT? BAAAHHH!)
2. I walked what seemed like forty-hundred blocks to an ATM machine that was so old it was like somehow finding an ATM at a Piggly Wiggly in 1942. Everything was all, FROM CHECKING? YES OR NO? … and I was all “Ok.” and then it was all “ENTER ANY AMOUNT UP TO ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS” and I was all, “Seriously? Because there is almost no way that Kory is getting that Alaskan Salmon AND I can get the flowers… and the tart… and the salsa…. and the smoked trout… for one hundred dollars…” And the ATM was like, “HELLO??” and then I realized that it was right… if not a little, “WOULD. YOU. LIKE. TO. PLAY. A. GAME?” and so I told it, “OK, give me the 5 twenties.” and it was all, “GLOBAL. THERMONEUCLEAR.WAR! YOU GO FIRST!” and I was like, MAN, I hope that walnut, leek, goat-cheese tart is worth it….”
3. There was a booth/stall/tent/whatever with a woman holding a goat. Yeah, goddammit. I said she was HOLDING A GOAT. Next to her was a coop of sorts with about 6 large ducks waddling around. To say that The Baby went TOTALLY BATSHIT would be an understatement. She… well….. she dropped a few marbles on Saturday… She screeched and pointed and grabbed her ears and screamed and laughed hysterically until everyone within her range was laughing until tears ran down their faces. Really, seeing the duck and goat was like The Baby experiencing the second coming of Christ. Or THE GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY. You know. As it were.