The library experience then… and now
I got my first library card when I was 4 years old. I remember it pretty clearly for something that happened 31 years ago. I started to read at a very early age and my grandparents and mother strongly encouraged and nurtured this ability. My grandfather had me practice writing my name and address for weeks… I copied the letters and numbers every day, honestly not understanding much more than D-E-N-I-S-E…
We went after dinner and I brought my “worksheet” with me that had my name and address on it so I could copy the letters and numbers on my card – my grandfather was insistant that I fill it out myself. The rule, in 1975, was that you could take out 1 book at a time until your permanent card came in the mail. Just one book…. how could I decide… I had hundreds of books at home already…but these books.. well, let’s face it – they were SHINY. They had that thick piece of shiny plastic over the cover.. and those cards that had all the numbers stamped on them in the inside cover and they smelled…. bookish. I was then, and remain now, facinated by books about holidays. Christmas books. Halloween books. Thanksgiving books. Easter books. The book I finally chose was “The Country Bunny and the Little Golden Shoes”.
…I book that I love to this day… an amazingly feminist story of a young girl bunny who proves everyone wrong by becoming a full fledged Easter Bunny – all while being the single mother of dozens of young children – even more amazing, the book was written in 1939.
A few years after my grandfather died I found some of his writings – he was an amazing writer, inventor, computer programmer, gardener and he held a doctorate in engineering – and found that he’d written a short story documenting that first day at the library with me – how proud he was…. how I begged him to put on the light in car on the drive home so I could read my new book….
***
Yesterday’s trip to the library was certainly less awe-inspiring. First of all, I wasn’t completely sure that I didn’t owe the Ramsey County Library System a trememendous amount of money. I was a little panicky about filling out the slip for a library card and having the clerk tell me that I owed several hundred dollars for books I checked out 9 years ago – I mean, it was entirely possible. I know for a FACT that I have library books in my house right now that are, well, stolen…. if by “stolen” you mean “borrowed and never given back”… I would have felt better if my ID had my married name on it -but I’m actually still running around on my old hole-punched ID and a tattered yellow temporary piece of paper due to laziness and a new license that came in the mail in February with the WRONG last name on it….
Anyway, the building is dark red brick and very cool looking. There is an inexplicable bright red and blue NEON sign in the front that says “OPEN” which is strange and out of place, but oddly acceptable on Como Ave… the library smells like… public library. A mixture of dust, ink and chicken nuggets… I ask the woman at the desk with the long white hair pulled back in a ponytail where I can get a library card – except, I’m sort of nervous about the whole possible book stealing thing so I kind of stammer something like, “Hi, I want to sign up somewhere to get a card so I can check out books”, with this big dumb shit-eating grin on my face and she says with NO PATIENCE whatsoever, “Thru the arch to your right.” – which, incidentally, was about 6 steps down the desk from her… there, a young guy with glasses and long black hair asks if he can help me – and there are signs everywhere on the desk.
“BOOKS WILL NOT BE CHECKED OUT WITHOUT YOUR CARD”
“MUST HAVE PROPER ID TO APPLY FOR A CARD”
“FINES MUST BE PAID PRIOR TO CHECKING OUT BOOKS”
…. and I get all nervous again… and I do the stammery weird talking thing to the kid and he wants to see my ID and current address and I fumble the hole-punched ID and the yellow paper out of my wallet and then for some reason, I start flashing my check book around – like, just to show that I’m totally prepared to pay my outrageous fine, should it be discovered…. and he enters everything in and starts peeling off stickers and then just hands it to me -and I’m yelling, “SHAZAM!” in my head — and then, in that second that we are both touching the card.. he hasn’t quite released it, yet… he goes, “Um, what was your maiden name again?”
CRAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
I tell him… start fishing for my checkbook again… and he goes, “Ok.”
And thats it. I look at him. He looks at me. I wait. He waits.
I say, tentatively, “So, I can only take out.. what?…. 2 books today?”
“That is a true. Once you get your card in the mail you can take out as many as you like.”
Except, I’m thrown by him saying “That is true.” instead of “Correct.” or “Yes.”, so, I say it again…
“But TODAY, I can just take out 2 books?”
“That is true.”, says the guy.
I squint my eyes at him and grab all my stuff and practically run away from the counter – and I’m not having any fun at all being back in the library – because this whole experience has been TENSE AS HELL… I walk over the “New Fiction” section and quickly grab 2 books that I’ve read good reviews about and I’m back at his desk to check them out in less than 2 minutes.
He looks at me. I look at him. Now, he’s squinting at me.
Crap. I made my choices too quickly… now he thinks there is some funny-business going on with me and I suddenly am overwhelmed with the desire to start waiving my checkbook around again….
He says nothing… checks the books out… and I grab them and boogie out of that library like I’m on fire.
The lilacs are in full bloom in Minnesota and the air was perfumed with their scent .. and this was mixed with that pre-rain smell… and as I walked to my car with my two shiny plastic wrapped books, I still managed to smile.