The Bunny Incident
If you see Kory and you wonder, “Hey, man – how was your birthday?”, the thing I would totally not do is mention bunnies. In fact, I would not mention baby bunnies or lawnmowers at all.
Really, I wouldn’t mention baby bunnies, lawnmowers or cutting the grass before the party. I ESPECIALLY would not mention any reference to “putting things out of their misery“. Or large concrete blocks. Not those either. But mostly, just don’t mention bunnies at all.
Or any of this.
Can I offer this suggestion? : “How was the SANGRIA?” Then grin a lot. That’ll probably work.
Or even ask him if he got birthday sex, because he probably did.
Also do not mention anything about how certainly every knows that bunnies burrow into the ground.
Generally, ixnay on the unniesbay.
Elevator Dude
This morning I got on the elevator at work with a man I’d never seen before who reminded me very much of Mr. Dursley, but shorter. He even had that I-thought-that-only-happened -in-movies waxed down hair with the ruler straight part. He didn’t speak but was gesturing a lot.
A finger point….
An open palm swept slightly in an arc…
A 4 fingers to thumb full hand point of emphasis….
Clearly, practicing something in his head, he was lost in his thoughts.
When the elevator opened, I jumped out and whirled around and shouted,
“GO SELL YOUR POTIONS AND SNAKE CHARMS SOMEWHERE ELSE, BUB!“
Ok, I didn’t. But I really wanted to.
Honestly, the whole thing was tragic, but not something I felt too upset about it. Shit happens to bunnies, too.
Comment by klasker — August 12, 2008 @ 4:31 pm
Isn’t it fun to imagine things you could have said like that? I do it all the time, and every once in a while I actually say them. I think as we get older, we care less, and by the time we’re like 60 we just say whatever the hell we want and if anyone complains it’s “whateva, I’m 60, biznitch!” (or maybe you don’t talk like that when you’re 60…. well, or ever, actually… but see, it’s fun to imagine!)
Comment by Krista — August 13, 2008 @ 8:45 am
“Shit happens to bunnies too.”
Heheheheh…. if by “shit” you mean “lawnmowers.” Seriously, that sucks. This is why Ian doesn’t allow me near the lawnmower – well, that and I would probably injure myself or others.
Comment by Krista — August 13, 2008 @ 8:46 am
Or bunnies.
(Okay, done commenting now.)
Comment by Krista — August 13, 2008 @ 8:47 am
Did you know bunnies sound like a child screaming when they get hurt? Oh yeah, you probably do. Sorry, that was just plain mean.
This is me getting my hand basket ready to ride in because we all KNOW where I am going: straight to heck.
Love you even if you murdered a bunny,
Gabbi
P.S. It is called Survival of the Fittest, this bunny was not fit to live and I am proud of you for being kind enough to put it out of its misery.
Comment by Gabbi — August 13, 2008 @ 11:03 am
LOL,
“P.S. It is called Survival of the Fittest, this bunny was not fit to live and I am proud of you for being kind enough to put it out of its misery”
Where’s Bush’s lawnmower??? I’ll gladly push the thing…
Comment by CaraLin — August 13, 2008 @ 7:22 pm
Oh no, a little baby bunny? We always “took care” of baby bunnies when my mom would find them in her garden but of course, they didn’t last long.
Totally curious about who you were in the elevator with!!
J
Comment by Jules — August 15, 2008 @ 9:53 am