The Bunny Incident
If you see Kory and you wonder, “Hey, man – how was your birthday?”, the thing I would totally not do is mention bunnies. In fact, I would not mention baby bunnies or lawnmowers at all.
Really, I wouldn’t mention baby bunnies, lawnmowers or cutting the grass before the party. I ESPECIALLY would not mention any reference to “putting things out of their misery“. Or large concrete blocks. Not those either. But mostly, just don’t mention bunnies at all.
Or any of this.
Can I offer this suggestion? : “How was the SANGRIA?” Then grin a lot. That’ll probably work.
Or even ask him if he got birthday sex, because he probably did.
Also do not mention anything about how certainly every knows that bunnies burrow into the ground.
Generally, ixnay on the unniesbay.
This morning I got on the elevator at work with a man I’d never seen before who reminded me very much of Mr. Dursley, but shorter. He even had that I-thought-that-only-happened -in-movies waxed down hair with the ruler straight part. He didn’t speak but was gesturing a lot.
A finger point….
An open palm swept slightly in an arc…
A 4 fingers to thumb full hand point of emphasis….
Clearly, practicing something in his head, he was lost in his thoughts.
When the elevator opened, I jumped out and whirled around and shouted,
“GO SELL YOUR POTIONS AND SNAKE CHARMS SOMEWHERE ELSE, BUB!“
Ok, I didn’t. But I really wanted to.