deeples

Random thoughts I had this weekend, whilst crazy drugs invaded my body(brain) : 

1.   Anyone who runs up alleys kicking trashcans should be socked in the gut.

2.   If the apocalypse happens, I should really remember to get a bunch of that brown bread that comes in a can because it will probably take me a long time to figure out how to make bread.  Especially if I have to first learn how to grow wheat. 

3.   It wouldn’t be that bad if that Christmas ornament I found in the car was from last Christmas, but I’m pretty sure it was from Christmas ’06.  And that’s pretty bad.

4.   After watching, “Celebracadbra“, I’m sort of mortified that I would have gladly been C.Thomas Howell’s love slave, at one point in my life.

5.   What is the etiquette when one takes a free sample at a store?  I always feel sort of ashamed and obligated to ask questions  and express interest to the 85 year old woman wearing a shower cap…  Except usually, it’s just something I want to try — knowing full well that I won’t buy a box of 24 mini bagel pizzas.

6.  [In a surprisingly mature move on my part, I have removed the original #6.]

Instead I will say:  The one thing I think my house is really missing is orange toilet paper.

7.    Sometimes, it just seems almost impossible to find a good sugar snap pea.

8.    (For just a moment on Sunday) Oh my God, I might have won the Powerball.

9.    I just can’t call them “wieners”.  All beef! Natural casings! Very expensive!  Hot dogs.  Call me childish, but the day will never come when I will be able to say, “I think I’ll have a wiener for dinner.”, and not laugh so hard that milk shoots out my nose.

10.    Sometimes, when I’m playing poker, I will think REALLY HARD about cards totally different than what I actually have – just in case I’m playing with someone telepathic.