April 24, 2008

Carly?! ~ Carrot Cake ~ Baby beer breath

Filed under: American Idol,Triple play — denise @ 10:55 am


I seriously can’t believe that she and Syesha were in the bottom two.  I can NOT believe that both Jason and Brooke were safe because I would have, like, bet a basket of kittens that they would be the bottom two. 

These are the Black Weeks of Idol for me, every year…. when good people go and popular people stay even when they suck ass.   It always becomes particularly noticable when you get down the last 5 or 6.

 *almost passes out from Diana DeGarmo flashback*

Seacrest: Jason, how do you think you did last night?

Jason: Uh…..pfffff…. I dunno……… I just don’t want to sing tonight……..

Enlighening as always, Jason, you TWIT.

And really, what would Brooke have to do to get kicked off?  In what way could she screw up badly enough that it isn’t “human” or endearing?

Obviously, the only way she’ll be voted off is if she calls David Archuleta a repressed midget and then throws up on the piano.

Carrot Cake

Cake………………………………………….  don’t like

Carrots………………………………………  don’t like

Raisins……………………………………….. don’t like

Coconut (aka “Ass Shavings”) ……. don’t like

Carrot Cake………………………………… love

I can’t explain it.

Baby Beer Breath

In the bathroom this morning, and I hear Kory yell from the living room, “OH NO! OH GOD!  GIVE ME THAT!!! OH GOD!!!!”

I run.  Because that sounds bad.

I see Kory chasing the running baby in a circle around the living room and she is gripping between her little hands a bottle of “Rising Moon” beer  (the special spring version of Blue Moon – it has lime peel in it and is quite good) that someone’s  father accidently left on the floor by the couch last night.

By the time he wrenches it from her hands, she’s spilled it on the floor and her shirt.  We wipe up the floor and take off her shirt — and god, nothing smells quite as strong and pungent and rude as old, hot beer that’s been spilled on fabric– and put a clean one on her.

The Baby is hollering and it looks like he’s trying to hug her or give her a kiss and she’s struggling and getting madder and finally I’m like, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

and he goes, “I’m trying to smell her breath!  Can you imagine what the daycare will think if her breath smells like old beer?!

He had a point.

Neither of us could smell anything, but we slipped her a pizza crust just to be sure.  Now she just smells like tomatoes and flour. 


A new challenge every day…. some days, it’s helping her find her belly button! Some days, it’s helping her disguise her possible beer breath.


  1. I can totally relate, my son, Sampson likes to dig in our recycling can bin and dig out whatever he can find, including old, rude beer. Gotta love it! Recently, Sam has also learned that since the garbage can is not his toy box, it is fun to throw random items in the garbage, and then look at them as they sit atop all of our lovely garbage. We have to have daily garbage checks.
    I love being a mom!


    Comment by Gabbi — April 24, 2008 @ 11:24 am

  2. Lily has totally gone for the beer before, with us having similar reactions. I can just picture her giggling and running away with it, because, you know, anything that’s “no” is super fun!

    Comment by Krista — April 24, 2008 @ 11:50 am

  3. OMG, that just made me laugh!

    Comment by Joy — April 24, 2008 @ 11:54 am

  4. Oh SHIT!

    You must keep bloggin about things like this, it’s a bit educational for me. It’s “Parenting Tips For Dummies” in other words. I can’t write about this on my own BLOG because my Mom would hit the floor doing the fish-out-of-water flop, but my boy shimmied over to the wipe-warmer plug (the end that was not plugged into the warmer, but still plugged into the electrical outlet) and took a little taste (aka ALMOST WAS ELECTROCUTED RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES)and of course got a little zap and immediately started to cry. I felt so bad..and just to make sure the jolt wouldn’t have been enough to do major damage; I (as a mother would throw herself in front of a moving vehicle for her child’s protection) had to then go and stick my tongue on the damn thing with lightning speed. Just a little zap is all it threw off….enough to startle but not damage. Sort of like sticking your tongue on the positive end of a AA battery. Needless to say after this electrifying event, I saw the ‘warning’ tag on the cord that clearly shows a picture of how one should not leave it plugged into the wall and not the warmer esp. around your baby.

    Sometimes common-sense escapes me.

    Comment by Dani D — April 24, 2008 @ 2:40 pm

  5. You DEFINITELY should NOT let your mom know about that one. BUT I will add that when I was little my (cruel) older sisters thought it would be hilarious to have me lick a D volt battery. I am still scarred.


    Comment by Gabbi — April 24, 2008 @ 2:50 pm

  6. It’s like the feeling of anxiety that takes over before a finger poke at the lab. Or the shock of catching the corner of a metal spoon or sneaky piece of tin foil that somehow go in your mouth on a filling.


    I hate that!

    Comment by Dani D — April 24, 2008 @ 3:15 pm

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