deeples

If you find yourself at Joe’s… a sciencey look.

October13

I have a neighbor named Joe, but I don’t mean him.

And I’m super keen on a couple of guys named Barack and Joe… but I don’t mean him, either.

What I mean is the neighborhood Joe’s Market & Deli store that serves the hundreds of people that live in my neighborhood, the breakdown of which is:

90% Students, living in rentals

9% Young couples and families living in their first purchased homes that they have now out-grown but due to the shiteously doomed housing market that has now been compounded and consumed by the shiteously doomed economy, are now forced to live in for the next decade… even though the bathroom (with it’s window and shiny, porcelain “bed”) is starting to look like a viable 3rd bedroom.

1% Crazy old man, living off the grid,  who is also a water-thief.

(Are you noting how science-ish I’m being, and mathy, too?)

Keeping that scientific breakdown of demographic analysis in mind, this is what you CAN and CAN NOT get at Joe’s:

Can get: A single red bell pepper, for a mere $3.29 (probability that a college student would know this is wildly over-priced off-set by likelihood college student would want to buy it, anyway)

Can’t get: Diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, baby food. Really, anything baby related.  There are condoms available for purchase though, which is baby related in a antithesis sort of way.

Can get: Every form of single can/bottled beverage ever conceived of, including every flavor of Jones sodas, all fruit drinks, teas, sodas and waters. I’ve even seen the Roasted Turkey and Pumpkin Pie flavors of Jones soda on their shelves.

Can’t get: Anything “Caffeine-Free”, even popular caffeine-free Coke products are not available for purchase.  Because, clearly, things without caffeine are for pussies.

Can get: Exact directions to the nearest keg tapping. And an invite to join in.

Can’t get: Tomatoes.  Not even ones that cost $3.29 a piece.

Can get: Cap’n Crunch, Doritos, soy products, bakery items, frozen pizzas, Kraft macaroni & cheese

Can’t get: TUMS, mandarin oranges, english muffins, grapes…

Scientific conclusion:  9% of our neighborhood should not attempt shopping at Joe’s.*

(1% of us doesn’t use what we “sell-outs” refer to as “money”, anyway.)

*Unless hung-over, childless, devoid of nutrition, and looking to PAR-TAY. **

** Which, totally describes a college student… so, if that describes YOU and you aren’t one, you should consider taking a GOOD, LONG, HARD*** look at your life, buddy.

***That’s what she said.

posted under Around Town | 1 Comment »

Farmer’s Market with someone 70 years younger than John McCain

September29

We hit the Mill City Farmer’s Market on Saturday and Kory took these gorgeous pictures of The Baby and various food items.

The Baby caused quite a stir with her new shirt that Mommy bought her at Things Younger Than John McCain. People approached us in a steady stream asking about the shirt, where we got it, how to buy it, etc. Women in hemp clothes rummaged through their felted bags for a pen and paper to write the website down… Men and teenagers pointed and laughed and a certain someone lapped up the attention and would surely have agreed to sign autographs if she knew how to spell her name.  Instead, she told them, ” CUPCAKE! MOON!” and everyone was all, “Right on, little Democrat.”

A close up of Mr. Duck… with The Baby flapping her wings and saying, “WACK! WACK” in the background.

This is a “Pulled Pork Taco”, but it’s really nachos.  It was so good, we growled and hooted.

Outside the mill…. where we practiced counting.

Counting for The Baby goes like this:

TWO TWO TWO FIVE!

She’s 25% right and that’s pretty good if you aren’t even two two two years old yet.

A picture Kory took of the old mill, that I plan to have framed…

And finally, the flowers we bought on our way out, with amazing and unusual lime green and purple cabbages mixed in.

Fairishness

September4

We went to the State Fair last Sunday.  I made an interesting wardrobe choice by wearing long jeans, tennis shoes and a black 3/4 sleeve shirt…. on a day that was about 104 degrees outside.

Le Gorgeous Bebe und er lovink Nana…

We all yelled, “OINK! OINK” except The Baby, who insisted on yelling, “ELMO! ELMO!”

She’s in a Kissing Phase.  She kisses everything she likes.  Crayons. Books. People. Oh, and baby cows..

Would sir care for some straw?

CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE! (curds)

If someone said to me, you either have to step into this booth with 75,000 angry bees… OR… you have to crawl on your hands and knees over a football field of broken glass …OR… you have to ride on this ride at the fair… guess what I would pick?

She really could not have been LESS impressed with cotton candy.

You guys are NUTS.  That’s not FOOD.

A proud mothering moment wherein I cram a piece of cotton candy in her mouth to prove to her that it’s not from Home Depot…but actually sugar so pure it will rot your teeth out of your head before you can learn to say “Dental Restorative Copay”.

These dudes are called “The Bitter Spills” (which is an awesome band name) – they were folky bluegrassy and even if I am the only person there that found their Fair-inspired song , “Wall Of Death”, amusing… well, it’s the fair, boys.  In the “Heritage” area.  On a Sunday.  At 10am.

The Baby dug  them…. but when you are not quite 2 years old… there is a fine line between HAVING THE BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE…

… and totally over it….

« Older EntriesNewer Entries »

This site employs the Wavatars plugin by Shamus Young.