The Frankie Roo Miscalculation Incident


My best friend sent me a series of text messages a few days ago that had me laughing hysterically… nay, rolling on the ground, heaving, gasping for breath and wiping my eyes… each text allowed about 160 characters so the whole incident was relayed to me in about 50 words.  This is my artist’s interpretation of what happened with Steph* and Frankie Roo.

*She doesn’t really have Dallas Cowgirl Hair

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Lutsen Haikus


Lutsen haikus

So, every year we go to Lutsen, MN with a gaggle of our friends. We rent this big executive cabin and 10-15 people head up there and for several days everyone gets loaded and plays games, watches movies, plays guitars, walks around in the nature, throws shit at the seagulls, hangs out, reads, plays cribbage, smokes, eats, eats, eats…

We also have a special tradition of creating haikus.  You know, the poems? That you learned about in the 4th grade?  5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables….

It’s a little hard to explain, but we all sit around the giant wooden table and in the middle are tons of pieces of paper and pens. The only rule is that you can’t write 2 lines in a row.  You might grab a blank sheet and  write the first line of 5 syllables — then you throw it back in the mix.  Someone else grabs it and writes the next line of 7 syllables and throws it back in. Someone else grabs it and finishes it…. and will often start the next one, as well.  When we have 30 or 40 of them – we all get up and go outside and take turns reading them aloud.

You might be spinning your finger in the air in the internationally known gesture for “whoooo -peee” right now, but it’s much funnier than you think.  We all look forward to it — and each of us spends several days when we got home trying to stop our brains from counting the syllables in everything we and other people say.  Every year there are some reoccuring themes — last year, the Pope had just died that morning, so that was one of the themes – sex, drugs, drinking, poop and anything else inappropriate are always popular… and just plain funnier than other subjects.

Here are some of my favorites from the ’05 trip:


(and maybe have a few cocktails first, these are much funnier when drinking…)

Freddy got fingered

Who is this Fingered Freddy?

Dude, check your name tag!

Oh, blessed divorce!

I think I am in trouble

God saw me, that time


Soviet tanks roll

The red-light district is full

Flat Russian hookers


You never know when

Life will hand you lame lemons

Small fruity crutches


No corn in my poop

That’s odd, I’m a corn aphid

Your ass is my home


 Here I go again

Sometimes I no wait, that’s you

Stop being me, jerk!


When does it all end?

Post apocalypse, you mean?

No dummy Viagra


Cool pistachio

Brown, like your mustachio

Fuck Ralph Macchio

Hey!  It’s time to go

Pope John Paul thought to himself

So tired of shaking


I am so stupid!

You’ve got nothing on me, friend

‘Cept the stupid part

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Getting out of dodge



Here we come!

This should prove to be an interesting weekend… as it always is.  We’re leaving today and all 14 of us will be up there until Sunday.  I’d say there will be stories to tell but we all know – what happens in Lutsen, stays in Lutsen.

Right.  AS IF!

This is where we stay…

Kory > Lutsen '05 photo

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