February 20, 2009

This one is for the ladies…

Filed under: Stuff I love — Tags: , , , , , , , , — denise @ 4:35 pm

I’m a makeup snob, I admit it.  I have the Sephora receipts to prove it.  It’s not that spending $26 for an eyeshadow makes me happy, except that dammit, it does.  I keep one-upping myself.  I told myself that Benefit and Urban Decay were as far as I was going… until I got the Stila…. and then Cargo was the end of the line, until I got my Laura Mercier tinted foundation.  I’m telling you Clinique is the marijuana of the make up world… it’s the GATEWAY DRUG MAKEUP that leads one down roads that one can not return from.  What I’m saying is, if you still buy all your makeup at Walgreens and Target – good for you.  At least you’ll never end up in makeup rehab sobbing into your Korres Pomegranate Cleansing and Makeup Removing Wipes while swearing you WON’T BUY THE NARS!

Despite my “little problem”, I have a few bargain items that I absolutely love and wouldn’t trade for anything expensive and I thought I’d share them with you.

This is my favorite mascara:

The rich black has great coverage, it doesn’t flake and it really does lengthen your lashes.

The only slight downside is that is smells very strongly of honey.  If you dig the smell of honey, you are golden.  If, like me, you are a little put off by it… well, you suck it up because it’s a damn good mascara for $5 and if you have to deal with smelling like you’ve plunged you eyeballs into a beehive, so be it.

My can’t live with it eyeshadow:

CoverGirl eyeshadow in “Champagne”.

I use this daily at the very edge of my entire lid. It brightens your eyes/takes the tired look out and makes your eyeliner pop.  It’s ridiculously cheap… I don’t know… $2-3?  Who wouldn’t pay $3 every 6 months to be able to fool the world into thinking you actually got a good night’s sleep and didn’t wander around the house reading magazines, watching Poker After Dark, eating string cheese and peeing every 15 minutes?  I’m just sayin’.

My favorite “lippy”:

I used to be really into Bigelow&Co Mentha lip tint…

But honestly, there is only so much of my life that I can live with half my hair stuck to my lips.  People with the whole front of their hair attached to their mouth just… I don’t know… lose a little bit of credibility in life. To that end, I’m really over lipglosses that are sticky.  I’m going back to basics.

My current faves:

Both are super cheap, and at least IN THEORY, prevent me from peeling my chapped lips off.

My favorite actual gloss that I wear when I want some nice color is:

By Benfit. One side is a watery, rose petal smelling red tint – and the other side is a sweet clear, shiny gloss.   The tint is lovely because it takes on the color of your actual lips…just more rosey.  It’s a very natural look and there is something about putting something that smells like roses on my lips that transports me… just for a moment… to some 1800’s brothel with giant feathers in my hair and layers of ruffled skirts around my ankles.. and man, if you dont’ get that… then I can’t explain it to ya.  This one is a Sephora item — around $20.

Best Hairspray…

I have been using Focus21 hairspray since 1987 and I will continue to use it until the day the pry it from my cold, dead hands… or the day they stop making it (AKA, the day I go on a frenzy and buy up every last bottle known to man-kind).

I don’t know if my hair is used to it, or my brain is used to it – but I have to have it.  It’s cheap ($4) but hard to find – most often located at Ulta.

Does the smell of it still make me crave a Zima with Midori and want to hum “All That She Wants” by Ace of Base?


Cool, huh?

My favorite product in the shower/bath…

Vanilla Chai Sugar scrub cubes by Naiad…sold on Etsy.

They are $13.50 for a jar of them.

If finishing a hot shower feeling scrubbed, shiny, revitalized… and smelling like you’ve just rolled in a pan of gooey cinnamon rolls and rinced off with some spicy tea sounds good to you… do it.  You won’t regret it.

Your man will love how you smell, but he might get annoyed when this is what he hears for several hours after your shower:

Smell me.

Seriously.  Smell me again.

My arm. Smell my arm.

It’s amazing, right?

I know. It’s amazing….

Can you take out the garbage, because it’s interfering with how much you can smell me…

April 8, 2006

I beg your damn pardon.

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , — denise @ 3:14 am

Thursday, my boss took our team to lunch at the Mall of America.

We went to Tucci Bennuch and it was… alright.  I split a chopped salad and FAMOUS BAKED SPAGHETTI with a coworker.  The chopped salad had just enough bleu cheese and bacon in it to be KILLER and just enough wilted greens and grainy tomatoes in it to make it RAUNCHY so….. I give it a C .   The baked spaghetti, which frankly – everyone at our table made a giant fuss over – was the weirdest, rudest, most tasteless bunch of nothing ever.  With a crust.  This is after I’ve sworn myself to be a Pasta-Free Zone!  But everyone was mental over it… and now I feel duped.  (Much like how I felt after seeing “Brokeback Mountain”.)

We went to Sephora after that… and yes, I was in make-up heaven.  I think they should rename it: Sephora- The Greatest Place on Earth.  I know I go to a different place when I’m there… I do know that.  I open the drawers at the bottom of the displays that only the employees are supposed to open. I ask endless unanswerable questions.  I approach perfect strangers to tell that how ABSOLUTELY BREATHTAKING they would look in “Socialite” shadow by “Too Faced”.  I simply can not help it.  So, after 15 minutes, I’ve convinced all my coworkers to buy GLITTER EYELINER — can you imagine?? And they all love it! And want to buy it!  God, if only you could sell makeup like real estate… I’d be so rich…  anyway, my boss  leans over to me and says, “Wow, Denise. You should totally work here!”

… and my delirious smile slips off my face as I realize my BOSS just said this to me… that I… should work at a…a…a… make up store???  In the….the… *gasp* MALL?!!!!

I could have died.

“But, then I couldn’t work for you!”, I stammered….

“I just meant you look so happy in here.”, she says “People should do what makes them happy.”


It is at this point that I convince her – a woman in her late 50’s – that she MUST buy some navy blue/purple glitter eyeliner that makes her look a little burlesque.

I can just as easily use my powers for evil….

The MALL, indeed….

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