Everyone has been draggin’ ass this week it seems. The weather being so overcast and some latent Schoolsalmostoutitis seem to have overcome everyone – child and adult, alike.
This morning, I was too tired to even make coffee so I was heating up a cup of YESTERDAY’S coffee in the microwave when Kory walked in the kitchen.
Kory: Oh, heating up the old coffee, huh?
Me: *zombie voice* Yeah. I’m dragging this morning.
Kory: You need a kick in the shins.
Me: A WHAT?
Kory: A kick in the shins!
Me: What? No! That would just hurt and not be helpful AT ALL!
Kory: I just meant, you know, you needed to perk up!
Me: That’s “kick in the ass“… you should have said, “Kick in the ass” – saying someone should kick me in the shins is just plain mean.
Kory: *indignant* I would think that a kick in the ass would be much more painful than a kick in the shins!!
Me: Honey, “kick in the ass” is a colloquialism that means “get someone going” “get someone moving or motivated” – you know like, “What he really needs is a kick in the ass!” Kick in the shins is just abusive.
Kory: Like a kick in the kidney.
Me: Or a kick in the boob. Yes. It’s not a “saying”.
Kory: How about a kick in the left mandible?
Me: WHAT?!
Kory: You know, your left mandible.
Me: THERE IS NO LEFT MANDIBLE! YOU ARE MAKING MY BRAIN EXPLODE AND I AM DRINKING SHITTY YESTERDAY’S COFFEE!
Kory: *chuckles*
Me: Come here so I can kick you in the shins.