June 11, 2008

#12 of 30

Filed under: 30/100/30,Deranged Denise,Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — denise @ 12:43 pm

Hey! Raise your hand if you are tired of hearing about the ailments of Denise!

I just wanted to clarify for everyone because I’ve gotten a number of emails asking if I’m ok and what horrible thing has befallen such a pleasant person such as myself…   *giggles*….  recent posts say things like “surgery” and “chemo” and if one didn’t know the whole story, one might think that I was potentially dying of Cancer Balls.  Luckily, it’s more likely a garden variety hernia that will hopefully be repairable via laparascopic fantasticalness.  Which will hopefully mean that there will only be a few small incisions and everything will be done with smoke and mirrors.

I found this picture to demonstrate:

So, it’s sort of like being attacked by 3 javelin spears at the same time.  That’s not unsettling AT ALL.

Also, it appears that I will be equipped with my own internal flash drives. Neat!

At the pre-op yesterday she said that it was definitely much bigger than it used to be (even though I have miraculously somehow lost 14 pounds in the last 3 weeks) and that it doesn’t really feel like a hernia anymore. It kind of feels like a mass, now.

So, they don’t know yet what will happen during my surgery on Monday.  The options are:

1. Hernia – SHOVE EVERYTHING BACK IN. Put up protective soccer net to hold it all in place. Install flash drives.


2. Mass – TAKE EVERYTHING OUT.  Call Enquirer to pimp out my enormous tumor story.

Either way, it should be fun!

Still waiting for the labs to come back and hopefully all those iron infusions have been cooking along and making big happy puffy red blood cells.  So it’s not BAD-bad like chemo and surgery sounds.  It’s more like Medium Low Bad.  More of a simmer.

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