June 11, 2008

#12 of 30

Filed under: 30/100/30,Deranged Denise,Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , — denise @ 12:43 pm

Hey! Raise your hand if you are tired of hearing about the ailments of Denise!

I just wanted to clarify for everyone because I’ve gotten a number of emails asking if I’m ok and what horrible thing has befallen such a pleasant person such as myself…   *giggles*….  recent posts say things like “surgery” and “chemo” and if one didn’t know the whole story, one might think that I was potentially dying of Cancer Balls.  Luckily, it’s more likely a garden variety hernia that will hopefully be repairable via laparascopic fantasticalness.  Which will hopefully mean that there will only be a few small incisions and everything will be done with smoke and mirrors.

I found this picture to demonstrate:

So, it’s sort of like being attacked by 3 javelin spears at the same time.  That’s not unsettling AT ALL.

Also, it appears that I will be equipped with my own internal flash drives. Neat!

At the pre-op yesterday she said that it was definitely much bigger than it used to be (even though I have miraculously somehow lost 14 pounds in the last 3 weeks) and that it doesn’t really feel like a hernia anymore. It kind of feels like a mass, now.

So, they don’t know yet what will happen during my surgery on Monday.  The options are:

1. Hernia – SHOVE EVERYTHING BACK IN. Put up protective soccer net to hold it all in place. Install flash drives.


2. Mass – TAKE EVERYTHING OUT.  Call Enquirer to pimp out my enormous tumor story.

Either way, it should be fun!

Still waiting for the labs to come back and hopefully all those iron infusions have been cooking along and making big happy puffy red blood cells.  So it’s not BAD-bad like chemo and surgery sounds.  It’s more like Medium Low Bad.  More of a simmer.

May 3, 2008

I am Iron Woman.

Filed under: Deranged Denise — Tags: , , , , , , — denise @ 10:07 pm

Kory brought his camera this time… so, here’s the experience once and for all…

It’s been pouring on the way to the hospital the last 2 Fridays…

Final Destination:

I’m really excited!

The nurses at the Cancer Care Center are the sweetest, kindest, most patient and wonderful people.  Like The Amish, however, they prefer to not be photographed.

I have scored a private room the last two times – they bring me a warm blanket and wrap my arm in one, too.  It’s like a spa, really.  With less massage… and pedicures… and champagne…  and more drugs.

I am still coherent and  feeling ok.  The nurse called me back with a, “Come on, Birthday Girl!”

Kory is showing me all the goodies he’s brought for this outing… salsa and chips, crackers, dark chocolate truffles and Season 3 of The Office…  and the nurse brings me the first round of oral meds that begin the Woozy begin…  she puts my IV in and pushes the steroid that is hopefully going to lessen the hives this time around.  It stings pretty badly so she pushes it slowly and moves it higher up the line and it gets much.  Now we wait for the pharmacy to mix the iron and I fade in and out…

It’s big.  It’s black.  It’s Venofer.

It looks like rootbeer going through the line.  Gross me out the door.

“We” are “watching” The Office while we drip, drip, drip our way to happy red blood cells….

I’m totally out of it.

And then a few hours later — all done.  This one was rougher.  It hurt more.  I have to use heat packs regularly and got some cramps — but if the after effects are lighter, it’s worth it.  Super groggy and just looking forward to going home and going to sleep…

When I got home, I opened some great presents from The Teen (The movie “Juno”) and The Baby (“The Golden Compass and a new coffee travel cup) and Kory (candles and hurricanes/sconces that I loved)… and crawled into bed.

Just to round out the them of the weekend, today we saw:

iron man

My next move: Join the Avengers!

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