November 14, 2007

PROJECT RUNWAY – predictions and cattiness

Filed under: Television — denise @ 5:58 pm

I was trying VERY hard to not go into the website that Richard sent me because I have SO much work to do today….but I simply had to do it and now I simply HAVE to comment.

I’m doing that thing where you formulate opinions about people based on what they wear and how they self-describe themselves… you know, prejudging!

It’s horrible. It’s catty. It’s an unstoppable force in my body that I can not control. Sure, I could decide to not judge someone stating that patent leather ankle boots are a “fashion must”. I could also hold my breath.

Eventually, it all comes out…

Based on their pictures and bio’s :

Christian, 21

Edward Scissorhand melded with Keanu Reeves! No?

At first I thought he was wearing some sort of winged cape made out of a shower curtain, but I now realize that it’s a bolt of cloth he is carrying like some kind of new age, wispy, vested Hercules!

He’s a cutie pie and Tim Gun calls him a “prodigy”. Prodigy!!!

Victoria, 34

Meet Ms. Patent Leather Ankle Boots are a fashion “must!”. Feel free to question the horrible dress that appears to have been fashioned during a house fire, when she grabbed a sheet from the linen closet and wrapped some electical tape around her waist and wrist. Tim calls her “dogged”. Nasty!

Kevin, 31

Why, hellooooo, Mr. Fatone! He looks like every guy in every Boy Band all mashed together into one. I don’t know about you, but I take people who stick their tongue out and make “Rock Fingers” at the camera reeeeally seriously….

Jillian, 26

Erm. What are those? Buttons? She’s not going to be like that chick that made all those stupid little felt flowers and insisted on putting them on EVERYTHING, is she? *Trying to imagine button-covered formal gown* Hmmm…

Marion, 40


Please sir, might you spare a copper whut so I can buy a crust of bread?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I can’t stop laughing at this bizarro street urchin wearing 30 pounds of pancake makeup. For reals? For reals???? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m dying! Le Mis much?!!

Kit, 26

I kind of like her…. I mean, she looks ok…. like, I could have a conversation with her. Except, really I couldn’t. I would never get past the bangs. What……what……WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BANGS?!!! Because.. because… do you know that you look like you fell in the garbage disposal forehead first? Also, honestly…. *smirk*…. that beret… *giggle*

Ricky, 35


A human chihuahua, I predict. RICKY!!!!!! RICKY RICKY RICKY!!!!!!

Latino Willy Wonka? Senior Choo-Choo? RICKY!!!!!!!

Simone, 35

Now, here is a perfect example of insta-yuck. Just looking at her picture makes me want to viciously wad up paper on my desk and try to throw it in my garbage can but miss and then stomp on the paper with my foot. Immediate dislike. She looks like super villian. A super villian with stupid… *wad, wad*… ugly…. *STOMP!* black leather half gloves… *STOMP!* that are so lame… rggg… HISS!!!!!!

Chris, 44

Oh my. I just……….. well. Oh MY. The shirt, that tie, the diamond cross and what the hell is that FABRIC HE IS CARRYING?!! It’s like a tablecloth from the Renassaince Fair! He worked with Madonna and made costumes for Cirque du Soleil… and really, which one is more fashion reputable??? This poor guy is here to be laughed at, I fear. Also, is anyone getting the used to be a goth in highschool vibe?

Carmon, 37

Tim hates Carmon! Tim hates Carmon! If Tim hates her, then I have to hate her because I loooooves Tim.

Jack, 38

Well, Jack says that his “fashion must” is a sugar daddy.

Tim “Sugar Daddy” Gun says Jack is “charismatic, funny and incredibly likable.”

Elisa, 42

Milla Jojovich. No? Something, something.. blah..blah.. wearable art… Zzzzzzzzz….

Rami, 31

Hhhaaa-lo. My nem is RAMI! Feel free to worship me.

This season’s “I’m so good these other people might as well go home” person. Good times. Good times.

Kathleen, 46

Let’s take stock of this situation.

Goes by the nick name “Sweet Pea”

Is NOT a rapper, PowerPuff Girl or CareBear.

Wears kneesocks.


That is all.

Steven, 30

He’s the sweet one. Mark my words. He’s the sweet guy who gets bulldozed by the Fatones and the Ramis and the Carmons. He better be good…

Tonight is the premier! We are going to Richard and Scottie’s!


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