June 27, 2006

You can’t make this up.

Filed under: Life — denise @ 7:00 am

Can’t make this stuff up.

Yesterday, my best friend reminded me of the time we came home from school and found my mother exercising like mad with the volume cranked to the rafters to a “Sweatin’ To The Oldies” tape in the VCR…. all while holding a glass of wine.

Today, a woman I work with announced to an entire room of people that she met her husband when she moved into a new apartment and he was her neighbor. “He enticed me with specialty meats”, she said.

Two days ago, I was talking to my friend Julie from work.

“Some days, there is just no pleasing me!” I said.

“Oh, I bet there’s pleasing you.” she said.

*uncomfortable silence*

“I didn’t meant that the way it came out.” she said.

“I know,” I said, laughing….

June 19, 2006

New stuff – sponsored by the letter “A”

Filed under: Life — Tags: , , , , — denise @ 7:41 pm

New stuff – sponsored by the letter “A”

New addictions:

Me: my new Gnarls Barkley CD that I can’t stop listening to and singing out loud and in my head.  Does that make me crazy? Possibly… (Who do you – who do you – who do you think you arrrrre?)

Kory: his new Nintendo DS Light with Brain Age and Super Mario Brothers that I bought him for Father’s Day.  The guy never actually had a little handheld game system – which suprises the hell out of me since he’s Mr. Gadget Man – but he’s duly in love with it, now.  Peter is also in love with it, and extremely jealous of Kory’s new toy.

New annoyances:

Me: That no one seems to understand me when I talk. This morning in a meeting I said that something we should discuss in a future meeting  would be any changes for ’07 to our contract at work… and my coworker looked at me and said, “This year? We wouldn’t want to discuss those until 2006.”

Um. What? Perplexed look around the table….  “But, this IS ’06”, I said – with FAR less sarcasm and animosity than I felt. “Oh RIGHT,” she said. “I keep forgetting.”

Everyone in the family:  The black flies that have found their way into our house – thus causing me to shout, “FLY!” every hour or so and demand that everyone grab something rolled up and follow me into that room for some fly hunting.

Kory: The front door sticking.  Mind you, this doesn’t actually bother him.  But it bothers me to the maximum extreme – and right now, what bothers me becomes EVERYONE’s problem. Actually, I’m always like that…. hehehe… anyway, it sticks to the point that I actually can’t open it even if I yank on it for a few minutes. So now, I holler at him from the kichen and make him get out of bed at an ungodly hour (for him) and come open the door for me.  Actually, the door isn’t Kory’s new annoyance… it’s me… and technically, I’m an old annoyance.   The garage door’s sensor was accidently broken by Peter and the lawnmower so the garage door won’t shut unless you get out of the car and manually mess with the button — so I have one door that won’t open… and one door that won’t shut…. and of course I bitch endlessly and bitterly about it.  Poor Kory.

New appliances:

Hmm.  It’s actually furniture, not an appliance. It’s a TV stand for Peter’s room.  The notable item is that I actually WILLINGLY went to IKEA to make this purchase… even though I typically view IKEA as the 9th ring of hell.  My extremely (hello!) gay cashier was hilariously training a new guy about people paying for purchases with credit cards.

“The most annoying people are the people who write “Check ID” on the back of their credit cards,” he says, “and then have a hissy fit when you ask to see their ID.”    I couldn’t help but laugh… and he looked at me in all his 6 earrings, white blond tipped hair and extrememly over-tanned face and said, “You KNOW it, sister.”  Right on.  I love people like that.  People who simply embrace their stereotype and LIVE IT, baby.

Powered by WordPress

This site employs the Wavatars plugin by Shamus Young.