Bong Bong Bells
Dani and I rode the lightrail to the MOA (Mall of America) during lunch today (yes, it does seem like I’ve been there a lot, lately). I was actually RETURNING a makeup item to Sephora.. so I was being a good girl. I made only one purchase that was a Barnes & Noble — and it was the new book by my favorite author!
(most hilarious writer EVER)
… and we’re riding back to work and I’m telling her about how we are going to Kory’s parents church for Easter service on Sunday and how the only thing I’m looking forward to are the Bong Bong Bells- which I never experienced growing up in the Catholic church.
You know, the people that line up with all the hand bells, wearing their little special gloves and ridiculously mouthing ..one.. two.. THREE… four… over and over again. They all look sort of panicky and at least one of them counts out loud in their nervousness… and I just LOVE it. The tension is fantastic.
Anyway, out of nowhere, this large woman sitting behind Dani chimes in and starts telling us this story about how she plays the hand bells (she was not amused by me calling them bong bong bells) and she specializes in the LARGE BELLS (the D and E, she called them) – and last Easter, during warm-ups she accidently SMASHED HERSELF IN THE HEAD with the bell and split her head open and bled all over the bells.
Oh. My. God.
And then she kind of lifts up her hair, and she’s got this, like, 3 inch white/pink jagged scar running right through the middle of her forehead.
I’m stunned, because, SWEET FANCY MOSES! – I never go to church. I never talk about church. I never talk about bong bong bells … and here I mention them in front of a woman who nearly took her own life with a D bell ? (or E bell, she wasn’t specific.)
What are the freakin’ odds? Seriously!
“I’m like Harry Potter, now.” she says, proudly.
Dani and I telepathically agreed to NOT look at each other and to try our damnedest to wipe the “Errrrr?” looks off our faces.
How wrong is it to hope that someone will smash their head with one this Sunday? I mean, how do you even not laugh?
Man… I already have the giggles about this and the service isn’t for 6 more days. I’m screwed.