December 29, 2005

Karma karma karma

Filed under: Deranged Denise — Tags: — denise @ 3:28 pm
Clearly the planets are a strange allignment.  Mercury is giving out his business card to Mars. Venus is making out with Jupiter. Neptune and Pluto have filed a grievance because they have had enough of being the “cold planets”…..  some wacky galactic shit is going down today.

I was startled out of slumber today because a nurse at the hospital was calling me to try to get ahold of Kory’s Dad because his grandmother was going into surgery which was a weird start to the day and perplexing to everyone as it was akin to calling France to find out what people in China think of the weather in Mexico.

I came to work and privately (in the car) bitched out the 2 people in front of me who didn’t have their keycards ready to get into the parking lot and made me wait…. ( “Do you not work here?! Do you not remember that you need this stupid key card every day? I curse you!”) Card in hand I smugly and quickly pull up right next to the reader. My window is already down… I am the very epitome of READINESS… and then…


I drop my card out of the car onto the street. I not only now can’t open the bar to get in the parking lot, but I can’t back up because there are now cars behind me… I also can’t get out of the car because I’ve pulled so close to the reader………… CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!  So, I squeeze out.. get the card… wave an apology to those waiting (who have all probably joined my chorus of bitching)… Karma.. Karma….. ouch

I come into work and end up getting on the elevator with the one person that I feel really uncomfortable around.  Karma! Karma, quit it!

I walk over to my desk.. talk to my coworkers… discover that I have LOST AN EARRING… my BRAND NEW EXTREMELY COOL long, glittery, dangly earring…. KARMA! I’m sorry! Quit it!

Then……… this random woman walks up to me HOLDING MY EARRING and asks me if I’ve lost one……  there…there.. that’s a niiiiiice karma… goood karma…..

I go to lunch with my friend Danielle to the Macaroni Grill. We eat salads, drink our sodas and share a large pasta entree and the bill comes and I’ve already generously agreed to pay today…. and it’s………….. $13.16

WHAT?  Turns out the waitress forgot to put our drinks on the bill…. Oh, Karma… I love you.  Or at least like you as a friend.  So, I leave our waitress STEPH (coinidink?) a large tip and we go….  we had a blast and I loved catching up with Dani.

Then – the weirdest of all weird.  I was goofing around in the search engine of myspace and I decide to put in my childhood best friend’s name – Sophia…. and this woman comes up. This woman who looks like she could TOTALLY BE the very same Sophia.  There isn’t much info on her page.. but she’s the right age… and I look at some of her “friends” and they are from Tucson – which is where we grew up…. so it’s looking possible….  but then I notice that her last log on was like October some time.

So, I send a message to the person that may or may not be the same person that I spent almost a week creating a secret club with… in which her name was BOUNCER and mine was BOXER and we had navy blue courderoy vests made with our names embroidered on the back.. and our club house was actually in her room at the very top of this huge linen closet in which we could hang out on the top shelf.  The same person that I have never in my life been able to eat a pomengranate without thinking of her.  The same person that I learned all the words to “If you like Pina Coladas” with… and is the reason I spent hours hunting this book down last year:

Anyway… she wrote me back… it’s totally and completely HER.

I mean – WOW.  I’m just stunned. She wants me to call her because there is so much to catch up on – where could she start?  Where can I?!  How do you even begin a conversation with someone that you haven’t seen in over 20 years? I’m honestly daunted by the task.  I’m thrilled to have found her – and thrilled that she sounded thrilled that I did………………… but how do you have a conversation that begins with telling someone your life starting with the 6th grade? 

How do you not sound like a lunatic?!!

I’ve got to sleep on this one….

Karma? YO, KARMA!!!

What is UP, fly guy?  

December 20, 2005

Sweet Fancy Moses! I won a drink!

Filed under: Poker — Tags: , , , — denise @ 3:34 pm

Kory and I met my friend Julie and her new…. Bill…. at Santorini on the west side. It’s a greek restaurant that has free Texas Hold ‘Em tournaments on Monday nights.  I LOOOOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to play poker, so I was excited to play. Top 3 people get various prizes.. bottles of booze, NFL jerseys, gift certs for B&Bs and massages… pretty nice stuff… and the top 8 people get points that accrue through the season to get a playoff spot to play for a WSOP seat (World Series of Poker).

Julie, is a killer card player — she just gets pretty nervous when money is on the line so she likes these freeroll games…. Bill… is her new…. Bill. I don’t want to expound on Bill…. but I can tell you the following things about him:

1. He told Julie to stop saying “Doh!” which is her signature adorable thing that she does and even told me that he was going to “break her of that habit”

2. He ordered for himself and then informed Julie that she could just share with him – without checking if it’s something she’d like.

3. He was at least medium-obnoxious and Mr. Puffy Impress Everyone Man. He boasted about everything, in particular his impressive status at the bar and how he “knows the owners” and “can pull any strings we need pulled”.  Puff. Puff. Swagger. Swagger.

4. My parting words to him last night were, “Shut it, Bill”.

The poker tourney itself was super fun — and while I did not win the main tournament, I did outlast Kory, Julie and Bill….  and then won at the “Drink table” —  knocked out 5 people playing no-limit….

and I won a drink.

a lousy Windsor Diet….  man, that was a lot of work for a drink.

The people were great – I met a ton of very friendly and funny people (accept the guy that said that I sounded occasionally like “Karen from Will & Grace” – which can NOT be a compliment)

I’m looking forward to going back and making that final table and accruing some points… WSOP, here I come……

December 15, 2005

Not a marriage allergy

Filed under: Deranged Denise — Tags: , , , , , — denise @ 3:35 pm

Well, I’m relieved to learn that I’m not actually allergic to being married.  I developed this unpleasant rash/allergy to my wedding rings! I continued to wear them even though it was itchy and red and and painful — finally took them off for two weeks to let them heal.. put just my band back on a few days ago — and today, red, puffy ring around my finger. Craptacular.

I really was worried that I was causing it somehow because we all know I’m a freak like that. I’ve always reacted strangely to metal. Most watches only last a year for me because some form of acidity/magnetism in my skin kills them. I actually thought I might have been abducted by aliens for a while there because my watches would stop and start on me all the time and I’d wake up missing hours in the morning….  and gold that is purer than 14K, my skin eats right through it. It develops little pock-marks where it touches my skin….  anyhoo… I’ve been all worried about it… and Kory has obviously been upset that I suddenly can’t wear my wedding rings without pain.  So, it was a relief to find entire message boards filled with tons of women who have the same exact problem. Many of them wore their rings for years and years before developing the allergy.

Looks like the culprit is nickel. My rings are white gold and it’s nickel that makes ’em white…  even the women wearing platinum were having the same problem- because the cobalt or other substances making up the 5% of non-platinum are actually by-products of nickel.

So.  There weren’t a lot of solutions. One woman takes an antihistimine every single day of her life so she can wear her rings. Others coat theirs in clear nailpolish and take them off every night. Another recommended soaking the rings in peroxide for 24 hours. Another boiled hers with some success.  A jeweler said the only real solution is to (amazingly) plate the gold and platinum rings in silver, as it contains no nickel…  so I’m going to try the old wives tail remedies first and see what happens….

Like every other weird thing in my life, I’m pleased to at least have a name for the monster.  Even if I can’t slay it, I like to at least be able to name it and perhaps sing a mocking song about it…

nickel, nickel


banana-fana fo fickel

me my mo mickel!

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